For the first 30 years of my life, nothing was ever enough. My motto was, “I’ll love my life when ‘INSERT FUTURE EVENT’ happens.” I was addicted to the “honeymoon phase” of every new experience. And I’m not even talking about relationships… new college courses, new degree programs, new careers, new jobs, new big life changes, new vacations, new starts to sports seasons… the list goes on.
I was clueless this was my addiction while I was in the thick of it. I was also unaware that I was relying on external experiences for my happiness. The only thing I knew was that I wasn’t happy and that I needed “X” to happen before I would be.
But once these milestones were reached and my happiness was still nowhere to be found, I was left with no choice but to investigate.
And what I learned was that my happiness had to come from within.
(I know, I know… I should have known this. I also should have listened to everyone who told me this for 30 years. But like everything in life, I had to learn it for myself.)
My Life Motto
I now live my life by the most beautiful motto…
love is a choice.
Yes, love is a feeling, but it is also a choice. And it being a choice means that I can choose whether or not to show up. Showing up isn’t always easy and it’s oftentimes scary as hell. But showing up for the people and things I love brings me the most fulfillment and meepiness. Showing up is worth it to me.
I now keep in mind that the “honeymoon phase” will always happen with any new venture. It will be amazing, fun, and exciting. I give myself full permission to enjoy it. But it will eventually fade and that is okay. There is no need to chase down something new when it does.
Instead, maybe I need to make the choice to continue to show up. It fading does not necessarily mean that it isn’t meant to stay in my life…
I may just need to make the choice to water the seed.